Stop Trying To Give Birth At Disneyland

I couldn't even imagine a woman giving birth and mickey is just standing there like:🙂

If I ever get pregnant, I'm gonna give birth in Danny's house so my child will be the Ultimate Greg.

I feel bad for the women who weren't trying to do this and actually went into labour unexpectedly and get judged or treated like the women who purposely try to give birth at Disney

My best friend used to work at Disneyland as a Princess, and this woman came in who was obviously in pain walking around. She looked like she was late in pregnancy and so she decided to ask the woman what was up. She just said she was fine. Few minutes later she was on the ground releasing her gremlin. She didn’t get a pass.

I worked at Disneyland when I was younger and I can 100% confirm that people spread ashes in the haunted mansion. My friend who was a parks janitor would find huge chunks of bone chips since I guess it costs more money to finely mill the bones (morbid, I know). The vacuum would often get backed up from this and sometimes broke the whole thing if it got a large enough piece.

I’m actually a custodian at Disney and this happens too often,. The worst part of it is that we have to ask if they want the ashes back. Most of the time, the people come back and spread the ashes again. What has this world come to?

As a cast member I can confirm that if someone starts giving birth we are supposed to immediately cremate them and store their ashes in the castle. Free lifetime pass.

As someone that has given birth, I couldn’t imagine having so many strangers around while I was giving birth to my son. That would probably just creep me out and ruin the moment. Not to mention how unsanitary that would be. Giving birth where thousands of people have touched 🤢

If you want a cuter and nicer urban legend that is true at Disneyland, there are Disney cats living there who serve as in house pest control. They are frequently put up for adoption and the ones that stay are taken good care of by the employees

The simple act of Danny pretending to be a parent, uncovering their child's eyes and debating on pooping in the root beer 👌

That root beer skit was the most elaborate “so no head” joke I’ve ever seen

Imagine if some woman wanted her kid to be born at Disneyland _so_ bad but since it was, y'know, a _theme park_ there ended up being complications with breaching or the umbilical cord leading to health complications -- or worse? Maybe just go to a hospital or at the very least a midwife.

Imagine if Disney was like: If you give birth in our parks, your child legally belong to us. He will be a lifetime cast member

The idea of living in a town that is 100% owned by a company sounds dystopian as hell. Everything in that town would belong to Disney, with non-stop advertising for their products and services only. And god forbid they make their own laws. Please, let us NEVER get to a point where a company creating laws is acceptable.

"I'm not playing dumb. I am dumb" such a well delivered line

I'm seeing [former] employees telling their stories about cleaning ashes and I've gotta ask: do people get banned afterwards or just kicked out that one time they try? I don't think these people should be allowed back afterwards, they've already shown they're willing to cross that line once and - even if it happens often - it's a damn extreme line to cross. If it's already disturbing for the visitors, I can only feel sorry for the employees 😓

I feel sorry for the children of those people. When the parent finds a hypothetical theme park ticket to be more important than their child, I can't imagine the child being raised very well.

Imagine working there, and having to help someone give birth, and then vacuuming up human remains. Circle of life dude. But in all seriousness, give these poor workers a break.

It's honestly terrifying how disney has managed to get people to want their entire lives from birth to death in their parks

as someonw who has stayed at the starwars hotel, i can confirm, your actions follow you everywhere and you will feel guilty for everything you do because the actors are REALLY good at making you feel REALLY bad

If you dump someone's ashes at Disneyland, they're going to a dump or hazardous waste disposal. Either employees are gonna vacuum them up, or a biohazard team will have to come in and collect them themselves. Don't do that. Stop it. It's human remains. Have some common sense

Honestly the people who had the "guerilla wedding" at Disneyland did nothing wrong. Disney charges people through the nose for everything, and they own all the cool franchises now. I feel bad for any employees who get involved/in trouble as a result somehow, but if you're going to have a Disney wedding, that's the coolest way to do it.

Former Magic Kingdom Custodial cast member here! I can confirm yes, back in 2015 people were spreading ashes on the Haunted Mansion and fun fact: the custodial crew would call it a “code grandma” over the radio so they would know to bring the vacuum 🙃

I am so glad I watched this video. It makes me feel better that I am not one of those Disney Adults. I mean, I still cried literal tears of joy when I saw Chewbacca a couple years ago, but I am so sorry to all cast members.

Kinda surprised Disney hasn't jumped at the opportunity to offer special themed funeral services inside the parks. I want to lay my grandfather to rest in a Mickey Mouse shaped coffin with a eulogy given by Goofy. "Ashes to ashes, hyuks to hyuks"...

I've been to Disney World three times in my life and that was three times too many. it's so stressful and muggy and crowded and intense and you're too focused on surviving the day and not getting lost to have a good time. the thought of going through something as painful as childbirth there is unimaginable to me

My history teacher told us that she once spread her friends ashes at Disney because the friend initially wanted her ashes put in fireworks and then fired off In a public space so her ashes fall on top of a bunch of people and they'll never know. Apparently her parents didn't want that to happen even though it was in her will, so my teacher took some of the ashes and threw them around at Disney cause there is a ton of people there and nobody noticed.

That bit about Disneyliving is honestly way too accurate for what it might actually be like. There'll probably be tons of cast members there, trying to make the experience more "immersive" and, if it ends up basically just being a city you can live in, you'll probably always be worried that your best friend is just an employee who's being paid to make your time there more fun; that they don't actually care about you; that they're just there to make you stay longer. Honestly frightening to think about.

Honestly I can't bring myself to be that grossed out by cremains. Anything that's been torched for several hours in a 1500-degree industrial corpse burninator is gonna be pretty damn inert. In a theme park I'd be more concerned about living people, like, peeing on ride seats and wiping boogers on door handles etc.

That buildup to a "So no head" joke was solid gold. Also! In addition to the ashes on the haunted mansion thing, popular rides include Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, most with water. It's actually reportedly so common, the odds are pretty good if the ride stops and you have to sit there for a while, someone is getting escorted away for trying to dump ashes on Pirates. Not on... The pirates. The ride.

Ok former cast member here. The ashes thing is true. DO NOT spread your ashes- a minimum wage employee will be forced to clean it up. Second, do not try to give birth at a Disney park. Remember that cast members are incredibly underpaid, please don't make their lives harder.

that last bit where everyone was an animatronic in the storyliving experience was actually pretty terrifying

“When you get off the ride, you see the crying boy.” Let me tell ya, the whole park is full of crying kids. Nothing paranormal about toddlers pitching a fit.

Maybe it's because I'm Dutch, but I have Efteling here and no intention of ever going to Disney. As far as I'm aware (correct me if I'm wrong) there are the following things awaiting me at Disney: - Long, sweaty lines in front of Ariel, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella and Elsa (it'd be cheaper to hire a high-quality cosplayer for that money to spend the day with you on your birthday.) - Sad workers that have no time or rest and are forced to wear a smile, while their eyes beg for the sweet relief of death. - Loud and noisy rides that are mainly fun for kids and some adults - A load of very expensive merchandise - Toddlers having very understandable breakdowns in this chaos - Peter Pan running around, trying to divide his attention between all the folks and repeating his catchphrases while his panicked eyes search for funny things to shout. - Restaurants with expensive and tasty food that will cost you your pensionmoney. - Fountains and pink buildings and more shops to purchase merchandise. - People that have eyes that want to see you die and smiles that look like Miss America's smile after receiving the crown, that -in a bloodcurdling nasal voice- tell you to walk to the left or right or stand in line or wait somewhere. Did I miss anything? Feel free to let me know if I missed anything good as well.

that root beer sketch is probably the single funniest thing danny has ever done in his life every time i watch it i always lose me absolute shit laughing at it

I worked at Disney once. We were touring backstage for Haunted Mansion. They would tell us about how people would dump ashes on the ride and hoped that they would be able to see their loved ones ghosts on the ride. It's really stupid and annoying to clean up. While showing us the vacuum and explaining the filter needing to be swapped out. Our lead opened the vacuum and a cloud of Ashes puffed out and covered him and I have never seen anyone so horrified 😂 please stop dumping your family at an amusement park.

Crazy to think how people are willing to risk their own baby’s safety for a free Disneyland pass

I literally laughed nonstop at this video. So proud to be a greg because this man produces peak humor

The execution of the “so no head?” joke was FLAWLESS.

this takes the saying "I was born to go to Disneyland" to a new level

You don't get a lifetime pass for being born at Disney but I hear if you give birth in the alley behind an Outback Steakhouse you get a free Bloomin Onion

You could GUARANTEE me a freaking life time pass and I'd STILL go to the hospital.

Can you imagine somehow accidentally going into labor while you're at Disneyland and you look around and everyone is mad at you and hates you because they think you planned it lol

One of the things that Disney did when my mother took a spill at Disneyland was make sure that she got a ride to the hospital. She was ultimately fine, but Disney went way above and beyond their legal obligations seeing as it wasn't in any way shape for form their fault, she just had a dizzy spell. They did ultimately comp the ambulance ride and give her a free pass to come back later, but I wouldn't suggest that they do it every time or that you should trip and fall just to get a free ride and pass to come back later though, that would be insane. I suspect that part of why there's no lifetime pass for giving birth in the park is specifically to avoid the situation where women are rushing there to give birth without any medical facilities and the resulting risk of injury or death from doing so.

2:39 "Let us in! We must release our spawn!!!" That kills me everytime

When I was a cast member at Disneyland I always felt like there was a magic sense to it all UNTIL HOLIDAY SEASON AND BECAUSE OF TIKTOK. A lot of guests came to the stores with shirts showing almost full bare chest they would request free Disney jackets, but that is certainly not true what happens is if you buy something from the park and it tears or is damaged they are obligated to get a paper that is almost like an even trade for other store options. Even with that they really don’t hand it out unless it is absolutely necessary. I also worked doing the mystery pin wall. I had to ask trivia questions in order for them to receive their extra chance. Only thing is the guests would begin to say “ask me about the myths of this place I know all the true ones” so I would make one up on the spot and hear them say “oo I already know this one while they got it completely wrong. Let me just say this respect the cast members and their safety for some reason when Disney adults go to the park and aren’t given what they want they make it seem as this one 19 year old kid with a summer job is the show runner for the whole park and events.

You know if you spread ashes at Disney World, they’ll just vacuum it up and kick ya out. Like, you could be surrounded by a crowd of people in front of Cinderella’s castle, dumping ashes beside a tree. Everyone is saying “sorry for your loss” and stuff. Then this custodian comes over and vacuums up the ashes while three guys pick you up and cartoonishly toss you out the front gate

Having to give birth to your kid at Disneyland is pretty selfish. You’re just putting yourself and your kid’s health at risk being outside of a hospital so you can make things stressful for dozens of employees. Like it’s not all that magical sounding when you have to state you hid in a bathroom for hours for it and made it difficult for people to get you immediate medical attention.

danny sneaking in “so no head then?” into a scenario where a guys trying to convince a disney worker that he’s NOT trying to dip his balls into a root beer is one of the best things i’ve seen all week

This makes me wanna write a story about how kids who are born at Disney are property of Disney and they grow up to be Disney employees. Maybe they’re the ones who vacuum up the ashes to make up for their mothers mistakes-

Shout out to the medical staff and resources at Disney parks. They definitely have more than enough equipment to perform childbirth (not that you should do it tho) and much more. This happened almost a year ago. So, I have chronic dysphagia (basically like when you choke on food but in your oesophagus) now I sometimes forget this about myself and didn’t realise that the hotdog i got at that one restaurant in front of magic kingdom (DW) was going to make my muscles go aaaah. Luckily that place is ✨legiterally✨ two doors down from the first aid facility. Now believe me when I say those people are overqualified. I mean the absolute BRAINS on those people. Anyway so i couldn’t throw it up so they kept trying different meds to help they even gave me diet coke to help, but thats not even the best part. These people had a straight up meeting on the spot to figure out what to do. You know what these geniuses came up with? Seasickness. The plan was that on the next ferry, the captain would make the boat wobble (yes they warned the other passengers on that ferry btw sorry if you were there) to dislodge the thing from my oesophagus and it worked! Very memorable experience! Five stars ⭐️

"I don't know a lot about weddings, I've only had one" felt like a very Drew-esque joke

As a cast member, we really aren't trained for these situations. We have like general rules and procedures for handling medical emergencies, but not for something as specific as giving birth. There's so many cast members, depending on your type of position you're fully trained in like 2 weeks.

Yo I’m a big Star Wars fan and I. effing. *hate* the idea of an immersive hotel where I’m forced to roleplay in a pre-show. I already just want to be left alone when I’m staying in a regular hotel, can’t imagine needing to ask the concierge for extra shampoo and condish without being forced to complete some intergalactic quest first. Not sure how that works but god that sounds like a nightmare, especially to my social anxiety. Here’s an idea: Maybe when you check-in, you can sign a waiver to be exempt from the immersive experience and just be treated like a regular guest??

My brother-in-law once said “when I die I want to be scattered over Disneyland - but I don’t want to be cremated” and I STILL think about it all the time

Ok holy crap, the “So no head?” joke was beautiful

Storyliving reminds me of Walt Disney's original vision for Epcot. Basically it was the idea to make an autonomous utopian city right next to Disneyland for people to live their everyday normal lives in. Defunctland did a video on it, I highly recommend it.

I tried giving birth at Disneyland once. But I wasn’t pregnant so it didn’t work out

This is literally one of my favorite Danny videos, with him just vaguely rattling off a bunch of topics that are sorta related to the title. I wish he'd do stuff like this more often because stuff like the "fat balls" sketch and everything about the Star Wars experience make me crack up every single time

Ok, so my uncle worked at Disney land for about 20 years and was actually there when the first Disney a baby was born. The baby was actually offered a free pass to the parks once a year for the rest of its life. However, the public thought this was cheap of Disney and they could at least offer the child a lifetime pass. Disney was tired of the bad publicity this got them so they did actually give the first child the free life time pass.

Are we gonna talk about how well executed Danny’s occasional psychological horrors are?

Imagine being a cast member and your next work meeting Disney is like “ok everyone gather around we’re going to go over the protocol for women who try to give birth in the park”

This video has the funniest Danny sketches I have seen so far. The guy screaming in horror as the bartender squash Walt Disney's head? Hillarious. The hacker in the ad read? Comedy gold. The animatronics playing the _Is a Small Word_ song? *Pure unadultered genius*

I couldn't imagine hearing the screams of a woman giving birth at Disneyland..

my sister is getting married at disney world this year. not only is it expensive but it's VERY strict. For the reception, we cannot play any music that isn't pre-approved classical music. The wedding WILL end at the time they say it will end, no exceptions. It's so expensive for anyone to go that my sister only has about 7-10 people (including me) going. I asked if I could bring a plus one, but the price for them to go with me would be about $175-$200. Oh! I forgot to mention! My sister is having one of the CHEAPEST wedding options you can have there! And by cheap I mean minimum of about 12k.

As a veteran and mother, I love, "veteran in the pregnancy game." 😂🤣

We all know that rumour about how you're not allowed to die at Disney, thrilling to know that it applies to giving birth too. They have a '1 in, 1 out' policy, it seems.

I was in absolute stitches laughing from 7:50-9:20. Your skits are incredibly funny 😆

My father and stepmother actually got married inside Animal Kingdom in 2012 without Disney's knowledge or permission while they were both Disney employees and I still regret not ratting them out

For some reason the ashes thing doesn’t gross me out at all but the giving birth at Disneyland does. Can you imagine how awful that would be giving birth on a random bench or whatever with people watching and in a dirty environment? I’m glad it really hasn’t happened much lol

I've done 3 'tours' of pregnancy lol I would've been wayy too scared to go to Disneyland knowing I could go into labor at any time lol

I actually knew about the scattering ashes thing. I wrote a chapter in one of my ghost hunting books about the ghost of a guy causing trouble on the Haunted Mansion because his ashes were vacuumed up by cast members.

As a Florida resident, I talk about Disney adults often. I feel like people really don't understand how deep the rabbit hole goes. Girls turn 18 and buy their first annual pass and make it their whole personality. Definitely an interesting breed. I love Disney too, but it gets pretty wild.

7:15 also i think small children witnessing birth in disney world would be traumatic enough that those children would definitely no longer consider disney world/ land magical or the happiest place on earth

So glad I got my fill of Disneyland in the 90's. No fights and no one giving birth.

Disney’s story-living seems like a dystopian world, and genuinely terrifying.

Imagine if the kid would grow up not even liking Disney.

The ashes are true, me and my family went to Disney this past Summer with a tour guide (would highly recommend) and we were in the line for the haunted mansion and had been in the line for 15 minutes (5 hours for a 5 year old kid) and we had been told that the ride would be closed for 15-30 mins. The tour guide told the older kids and adults (13+) that with the ride being closed for 15-30 would probably be because someone spread their family members ashes

I just want Danny to personally know that as soon as he yelled "BALLS IN IT" a thunderclap boomed outside my window.

imagine the type of training you'd have to go through to work at disneyland. sounds like anything can happen

"Storyliving" sounds like the corporate version of a cult founding a commune. Also the root beer skit is my favorite one so far. I love the effect of making yourself into a child character by shrinking your image.

I've never been to Disneyland, but at Disney *World* I know there's like a several step process to getting into the magic Kingdom. Whether it be by ferry, monorail, the parking lot shuttles... if someone goes into labor I'm sure the staff understand the need to RUSH someone to an ambulance accessible spot 😳

this is definitely one of Danny's funniest videos. around 5:46 never fails to crack me up! great work Danny! p.s. I give thanks to the cast members who have to deal with this crap. not all heroes wear capes

I could think of nothing worse than giving birth in a theme park, let alone being in a theme park about to pop.

I wonder if the mascots would still have to stay in character if someone gives birth there. Imagine one of the bad guy characters trying to kidnap your newborn child for the sake of an authentic Disney experience

Imagine if people did this with other theme parks, or just, normal grocery stores and fast food restaurants. Spreading their family member's ashes in some random corner of Subway, racing to give birth at a McDonald's.

Danny's true chaotic energy was in full force in this video.

This is like the guy who paid for Fallout 4 in bottle caps - the first guy who thought of it pulled it off, and then Bethesda said no one else is gonna get the same chance

That root beer skit made me laugh so hard I woke up my sister in the next room. I probably shouldn't've been laughing that hard at 2 in the morning. :P

When my mom was pregnant with me, she was in high school. And her school was actually taking her class to Disney land! But, my mom was already almost 9 months pregnant, so she couldn't go. I still bug her about it and joke about how I could've been born in Disney.

I feel like Danny’s “So no head?!” Vine reference during the root beer sketch is criminal under appreciated 😂

I was supposed to go to Disneyworld back in January 2022. Had it planned for a couple years. However back in June 2021 I met a guy and I got pregnant and when I was supposed to go to Disney I would’ve been 21 weeks along. I could’ve gone but was afraid to be that far away from my boyfriend, and heaven forbid something went wrong I didn’t want to be in Disney in Florida with my boyfriend up in Rhode Island. And now I’m glad I didn’t go 😂😂 I had my brother take my place and told him it was his birthday/college graduation gift from me. And we joke about how he made the “sacrifice” to go for me and his niece 😂

I don't think I've seen Danny this annoyed in a video before I feel the rage

The only guy on the plane, I've had similar before. I was on a flight with more cabin crew than groups of passengers and it was amazing. A friend and I were also once the only passengers in first class on a train so they came and just put a load of bottles of drinks in front of us and told us to help ourselves to whatever we wanted. I'm a larger guy, I was fine. My skinny 5" friend literally fell off the train 😂

5:21 sorry for a second comment, but yes, we really are. we are trained for all the situations regarding a missing child (the different circumstances that could happen), injured guests, guests having heath emergencies, and the list goes on and on. at disney world, since we’re in our own town/county, we have our own hospital, fire, and police - they’re not called like “disney police” like people would assume lmao, they’re just the police. so, we are very prepared.

I was birthed at Disney Land on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (the rollercoaster) at 7PM. I currently live in Disney Land because of the lifetime pass. The first face I saw was Goofy. Goofy handed me to my mother before accidentally falling off the side of the cart. Luckily Goofy parachuted to safety.

Those sketches keep getting better The mini gig of Danny covering little Danny's eyes just got me

imagine you're just trying to enjoy the haunted mansion ride and you just get hit in the face with a handful of ashes

I don't really get scattering ashes either. My dad was cremated, and we had his ashes buried with some of his family. I think I'd either keep them in an urn, or bury them.

One of many Disney-related urban legends debunked by Snopes. My favorite is the rumor that if a costumed employee dies on the job, they're placed on a bench like they're sleeping until the end of the day, and visitors sometimes pose for photos with them.